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Submitted on
August 2, 2013
File Size
1.5 KB


41 (who?)

                                      She is

                              electrolytes shivering

                       off winter blue satellites orbiting

                     on ruptures in his arteries and wisteria

                  drenching his senses [clawing] dirt neath her

                      nails, trembling skeletal structures as

                         the stars scream in [unbalance]

                              churning mythology and

                                basking in meteor

[she smiles when lonely things become beautiful]

when asked to describe my otp ;__; cries and i'm still writing about (star)-crossed things
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brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey there! :wave:

In celebration of 2014's National Poetry Writing Month, I featured your lovely piece in Glory Be Project's daily journal. Have a nice day and keep on writing! :love:
skygazing Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014

*happy tears* i am honored :heart:
thank you once again dear!
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
aw don't mention it! :huggle:
photographic-pupils Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Writer
A really lovely portrait. However, a piece of minor, unimportant, nitpicking: I don't know if you were going for a visual poem here but another line between the first and second lines would help with the symmetry of the shape.
skygazing Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014
thank you so much! :iconbackhug: :love:

especially for the advice, i see what your saying ^^
i was  attempting to make a diamond shape out of the word, but i do think another line would have added more balance. thank you! :heart:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
%PoeticalCondition critique

reminds me of a traditional format of a poem... it had a similar type of approach. Its called a nonet.

This is different than that because of it being... palindromic in shape.

The meaning and subtle implications implied by the poem are spot on and have a depth which is truly worth thinking about. Well done.
skygazing Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014
thank you so much for the critique :heart: :love:

i'm glad you enjoyed reading :iconbackhug:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:) I did indeed Keep writing and keep posting.
YuukiCross5 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This is beautiful. :iconfrenchwhineplz:

So much emotions in just one line and your vocabulary is huge my dear.
You really know how to write. Lol, I suck at English and I don't know why :iconteeheeneplz:
skygazing Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013
lol bb thank chu

ahhh my vocab is much smaller than you would think haha :heart:
you should see me when i speak / like how do youenglilsh haha OTL

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